3 Things to Remember When Coping with Social Anxiety and Depression

Gabe Neves
4 min readApr 22, 2021

Why can’t I just stop thinking? Why is my mind contemplating the thousands of ways somebody could insult the way I am? Why can’t everybody just get along with me? Why can’t I look people in the eyes? When is my head going to stop hurting from the all the tension-headaches? When am I going to be normal? Why doesn’t she love me back? Why do I feel so inferior to everyone else? When will I be as happy as other people? Why can’t I just be like everybody else?

Stop.

Breathe.

Before worrying about what the next person’s gonna say or think about you, just pause. Is this really all worth it? Putting your mind and your heart through all that trouble just to calculate the severity of something that hasn’t even happened and likely won’t ever happen? It’s not. It really just isn’t.

However, understanding that these thoughts aren’t worth your time isn’t as simple as walking down a straight path. Everybody manages their anxiety in different ways, whether it be through yelling and screaming, playing sports, writing, or taking a trip somewhere. No judgement.

To give you a place to start, I’ve laid out 3 incredibly important FACTS you should remember in order to tackle the shit that you’re going through. It’s been working for me, and I can guarantee that it’ll work for you.

Nothing matters.

Nothing does.

Before you misinterpret the living hell out of this, please understand what this truly means.

You’re alive. You can breathe, you can eat food without feeling pain, you can walk, run, sleep, jump, cry, laugh, sing, feel, smile, and love. These are the most important aspects of your life. These things matter.

If somebody’s talking bad about you, so what? What will their words really mean after they’ve been spoken? Nothing. It only affects you if you choose to care. Will your fate be determined by what somebody thinks of the outfit you chose this morning? Nope. Not one bit. They don’t matter, so neither does their opinion.

This very concept applies to literally every single damn thing in your life that’s insignificant. Most of the problems that we think we have and the consequences that might arise because of them are completely irrelevant. None of that stupid shit has any value or does anything to make you a better person.

You matter the most. Nothing else.

Just be in the moment

Be yourself.

Act the way you act. Don’t conform to what others think of you, how you think other people think of you, or how you want other people to think of you.

If you change the way you are to please others or to avoid being ridiculed, offended, or excluded, you will never be happy. If you just embrace your values, interests, and physical features with absolute confidence, you’ll attract people who are in tune with you naturally.

Don’t follow the crowd. Standalone. Be your own vibe. Don’t be like every other human being. Do this for you, not for anybody else.

We need you, and not another wannabe.

Standout for yourself, not for others

Everything in life is a gift.

Just look at the clouds. Just look at them. Look at how beautiful they are.

There is beauty in everything around you. Your body, your mind, and your heart are beautiful. The sky, the trees, the mountains, the sunshine, and the rain are beautiful. The colors that light up the sky during the sunrise and sunset, your favorite song in your headphones, and even the horrendous odor of that dump you took last night are beautiful too. All of it is. How would you feel if all of these things were taken from you?

Thus, our lives are gifts. Appreciating these little things we all take for granted will tie us back to the fact that nothing that we care about in this world really matters.

You are blessed with life.

Appreciate everything

Using “Nothing matters”, “Be Yourself”, and “Everything in life is a gift”, you can get out of your anxious and depressive state. Reminding yourself of these three concepts throughout your day is a great foundation to pull yourself out of the hole you’ve been stuck in for so long.

Whenever there’s a negative thought, pounce on it. Don’t let it sit. Add a positive thought, and reinforce it.

By repeating these phrases everyday, you’ll start to feel changes in your life after a few weeks. Your thoughts and outlook on life will be much brighter than they’d been in a while, filling you with faith and love. You’ll start to focus on the beauty of life itself rather than all the miniscule problems that have no impact on your life whatsoever.

You are worth it. Your are needed. Your are loved. You have a purpose. You are confident. You are brave. You are important. You are unique.

Never forget any of that.

Godspeed.

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Gabe Neves

a mobile anomaly. I write random stuff (dreams, ideas, perceptions, etc....)