Dream: Mott Vakim

I quit smoking weed nine days ago and I’ve had some cravings here and there, but I don’t miss it. I was stuck in a certain phase of life and I needed to move on, but what has come from that are these very vivid and powerful dreams (I read on one of those medical websites that that’s what happens during withdrawal so I’m just assuming here).

So I guess from now on I’m just gonna document what I see/feel/remember.

When I say “CUT”, it just represents a point during the dream where the scene just cuts to a different part, like a movie.

I was walking up the short steps to the front door of this old looking home, seemed like somewhat of a rural area (New England-esque). I remember I was in a rush to use the bathroom/shave my head (I shave my head every week), so I quickly opened the unlocked door and made a right straight into the conveniently located bathroom.

It was a spacious bathroom. As soon as you walked in there was a medium-sized mirror on the right, the toilet was closer to the back-right section of the room. The bathtub/shower was in the back left, and directly to my left was just a tall stanchion with a bunch of bathroom stuff I can’t quite remember.

So I put my stuff down and started shaving with this really fancy head shaver (unlike the straightedge electric razor I use in real life) and just started going to town. I finished the top and the sides when I heard footsteps and some murmuring, sounded like this woman saying “Somebody’s in the bathroom”.

I wasn't overly worried, so I turned around looking like one of those balding men that desperately try to hold on to whatever they have left of hair at the back of their head, and I saw an older woman that I knew named Pamela looking through the screen door of the bathroom and was really surprised to see me.

(Pamela was a host of an Airbnb that I stayed at recently in California. Older woman in here early, mid-70s)

“Gabe! My goodness I haven’t seen you in so long how ar-”, she started to say.

“Hey Pam,” I said quickly, “I know I just intruded a little bit but I was in a real rush and I just needed to use the bathroom really quick.”

“Oh, sure! Not a problem. Just know that we have a guest staying right now so be quick.”

“I will.” I responded.

CUT

There were dogs in the house, so when I was when I was pretty much done shaving and was cleaning out the head shaver they came rushing into the bathroom. Funny though, cuz I don’t remember the breeds at all. All I remember was petting them like crazy.

CUT

By this point I was in this living room/dining room area. Behind me was the living room with the couches and bookcases and what not, but where I was facing there was a circular dining room table and a row of windows open with screens on them behind the table.

Sitting on one of the chairs of the table was Wesam, a good friend of mine. I was filling him on how I just walked up into this woman’s house we were both sitting in when right in the middle of saying this to him I glance out the window and see this girl sitting on a bench, watching me speak.

But instead of me stopping and asking why she was even eavesdropping on this whole thing, I started telling the story to the both of them, since the window was open she could hear me.

Dude, her eyes, hazel. She had lightly colored skin, brownish hair with a little bit of a red tint. She was slender but had some curve to her. There was something very familiar about her, like seeing her had brought something back to me.

And of course she was giggling when I acknowledged her presence, taking turns to look at both of them while I was speaking.

CUT

By this point, her and I were outside talking together. The best way I could describe our interaction was smooth. It feel easy, unchallenged, like there wasn’t any resistance.

Her name was Mott. Mott Vakim.

I didn’t have to tiptoe around any ego-related perceptions or insecurities, I didn’t have to change my own way of interacting or speaking, I didn’t event have to introduce myself or ask her any questions. It just felt right. We clicked instantly.

It felt like I had known her for years, but she was right there.

I began to see that she had a fire in her belly; a very enthusiastic and spontaneous personality. She was fiercely independent and headstrong, but she also was incredibly caring and loving. She was everything that every other girl I had ever been with or wanted to be with, wasn’t.

She felt like home, and what filled me up the most was that I knew she felt the same way.

CUT

Instead of getting into all the intimate and erotic visualizations that came during the dream (they were awesome), I just remember this one really cool and vivid scene right at the end of the dream.

We were walking together down Roosevelt Avenue in New York City, underneath the elevated 7 subway line in Queens. We were close to the intersection of Junction Boulevard, and for those who don’t know, the sidewalk along Roosevelt is PACKED with street vendors selling all different kinds of food and trinkets. Plenty of Ecuadorian and Mexican food trucks and carts, different smells and aromas of exposed meats and pastries cooked on open fires, incenses of all kinds, etc. A plethora, basically.

I got the impression that time had passed. She was walking alongside me on my left, but she had blondish hair this time, like she’d dyed it a while ago.

I went to go put my arm around her, and I’ve never felt something so real in a dream.

The fabric of her shirt along the skin of her back and neck was SO soft. The way my forearm wrapped around the edge of her shoulder and I could really feel the pointedness of her shoulder bone at the edge of it.

But what made my heart melt was the way she eased in to me as I did it. Much like the way in which we had always got along, this felt as seamless, and as caressing, and as perfect as anything I had ever felt in my life. There was no resistance, no hesitance, no subconscious doubt. There was none of that.

She was just home.